Going through my old messages felt like going through my old diaries. It felt very surreal reading what I said two years ago. There are many people whom I texted back then who were mere acquaintances or professional contacts. Many were just passer-bys in my life whom I had since ceased contact with. So, reading back my texts with them felt especially...weird, in a way.

My trip down the digital memory lane went from being amused to feeling heavy-hearted, as I came across the text messages between myself and a friend from university. Ron was a jovial and laid-back fellow who was one of my first friends in university. We happened to choose the most boring tedious major about Australian politics, which all read like Greek to us because we grew up in Malaysia! So, we compared notes and I helped proofread his assignments and kept each other motivated throughout the boring lectures, discussions, projects, etc. It was good to have a friend around.

Ron and I were not close, but he was a nice enough classmate. On our graduation day, he thanked me for all the help he has received throughout the years. Sadly, that was the last time I spoke to him. Shortly after our graduation, he passed away suddenly. Every now and then, as I go through my old photos, it saddens me that Ron is no longer around. Reading through the text messages made me relived the memories and it grieved me that I cannot tell him: "Hey Ron! Guess what I found on my phone! Remember that time..."

As a passive-aggressive person, so to say, I did not attend Ron's funeral, nor have I contributed to his obituary. As mean as the next sentence will make me sound like, I grieved quietly and quickly, and chose to live my life. This is my reflex and reaction to face a loss. Yet, time does not erase the sadness I feel as I see this photo.